My mood swings easily, and it’s uncomfortable. One day I could be bright and very happy, but then another day I suddenly turn to be so blue. It’s hard to breathe, it feels bad. Hopeless. Sad. It makes my dreams nearly fade away.

One day I promise myself that I will be better, I really have to be better. But then I start to be who I was, again. At night before go to bed, I regret. When the sun comes, I wake up and say thanks to God for giving me another day to live. Once again I want to try to be better.

By the way, I have 3 things that can erase my frustration. Mom, you, and music. Talking to mom has been a cure for me all these years. Now after Papa was gone, I can’t.

You. You complete my life. I’m so grateful that I finally find you. You can wipe all tears and fears. But I don’t, really don’t want to be your burden, which I feel I continuously are with my condition right now
For you not being your burden is by living my life to the fullest, being happy, try my best, struggling in here. But back again, I always seek for you, the cure of my frustration. I’m selfish

Music, magically turn my mood. Like now, while writing this. I wrote the first part when I feel blue, then I turned on the music on my phone, I slightly start to feel better. Now I talk to you, suddenly I breathe normally plus with a smile.

It turns out that I am ok, again. Probably tomorrow, I feel blue again. I just hope you will be there (soon to be here, I pray for it ), talk to me. Or at least music don’t go anywhere

무대뒤에 그 소녀는
작은 의자에 앉아
두손 곱게 모으고
바라보며 듣네
나의 얘기를 오

소녀는 나를 알기에
더 더욱 슬퍼지네

노래는 점점 흐르고
소녀는 울음을 참지 못해
밖으로 나가 버리고

노래는 끝이 났지만
이젠 부르지 않으리 예
이 슬픈 노래

밖으로 나가 버리고

노래는 끝이 났지만
이젠 부르지 않으리 예
이 슬픈 노래

Future Plan
23 Februari 2011- Heading back home!

life is a time when your biggest fear may happen, you may be getting hurt, you may be cry, the person you love may leave you, your expectation may comes out wrong,

but the sky isn’t falling yet. do you know that?
just do what you should do, take all your responsibilities, be an adult, be brave, and go live your life!
there’s always a place for you to ask.
Allah.

are you unhappy?

Hari ini gw kehilangan salah satu tas gw selama lebih kurang 3 jam. Ketinggalan di taksi cuy! Itu tas isinya dompet! hp-nya mas Rizal yang sayapinjamtapigakdipakedangakjugadibalikinkeorangnya! kipas bwt laptop, voice recorder punya kantor, charger laptop! charger handphone! MoM yang udah ditandatangani *penting ni punya kantor juga! dan baju..

Jadi ya, itu tadi saya baru pulang dari bekerja di Bangka bersama dengan rekan-rekan se-arah depok yaitu Eko dan Irvan. Penerbangan dari Bangka ke Jakarta itu kira-kira 55 menit. Tadi alhamdulillah di atas awan pesawatnya oke-oke aja. Yah, nenek-nenek pake kacamata hitam di pesawat yang milih duduk di dekat jalan karena sering ke toilet yang setelah dari toilet dengan pede-nya berjalan melewati tempat duduk gw *fyi si nenek itu duduknya di belakang gw, posisi toilet di belakang gw a.k.a nyasarrr bisa disebut bukan ganguan bwt gw untuk ngakakakakakaka:P. Kecuali tadi setelah mendarat kita dibawa dulu muter-muter bandara buat nyari tempat parkir. Disebabkan oleh rasa letih lelah dan lesu yang kami alami, akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk naik taksi saja. “Damri lama,macet lagi” begitu lebih kurang komentar dari bos Eko. Setelah sholat maghrib terlebih dahulu, kami keluar dari bandara dan segera mencari-cari taksi. Tadinya sih mau naik Gamya aja, tapi setelah lelah menunggu, tidak ada satupun Gamya yang datang, akhirnya kami menjatuhkan pilihan ke Express putihyangwarnanyasayasuka itu.

Hmm,,di jalan agak sedikit macet sih..tapi gak terlalu parah. Sempat dapat telpon dari Bundo yang lagi di Medan buat acara tunangan-nya sepupu gw. Hmmm mau nyusul tapi belum ada calon ! Pas udah nyampe daerah lenteng agung nih, si bapak sopir taksi mulai memutar radio. Hohoho malam ini Belanda vs Brazil cung! Harapan saya, karena belum jam 21 jadi bisa nonton di kosan saja. Eh eh, taunya masih padat merayap jalannya dan pertandingan nya udah mulai :O. Jadilah kami mendengarkan saja siaran pertandingan itu di taksi, sambil memvisualisasikan komentar di radio tentang pertandingan itu:P..

Wah, pegel juga bawa dua tas dan 1 tas plastik berisi oleh-oleh dari Bangka *Pempek dan Kemplang yahoooo ^^! Tas gw dua-duanya berwarna hitam. Satu tas gw taro di samping tempat duduk gw, yang satunya lagi di bawah kaki. Gw duduknya di belakang sopir. Irvan di sebelah gw, kalo Eko, karena dia bos-nya duduk di depan. haha. Setelah gol pertama oleh Belanda, gak lama kemudian kita akhirnya nyampe di Kober. FYI di sana lagi rame, soalnya ada layar tancep buat piala dunia. Setelah perpisahan dengan Eko, gw dan Irvan turun dari taksi sambil curi-curi pandang ke layar gede yang di pasang di depan Indomaret buat nonton pertandingannya. Seru nih kayaknya! Gw turun dari taksi dengan menyandang 1 tas ransel yang tadi gw taro di samping gw, dan 1 tas plastik yang isinya oleh-oleh. Masih ketawa-ketawa nih sama Irvan..agak lama juga, kira-kira selama ini: Eko sudah nyampe di kosan (deket Margonda Residence) dan taksinya tidak kelihatan lagi, akhirnya kita nyebrang jalan Margonda. Pas nyampe di depan Es Pocong, bapak Irvan yang pertama kali sadar dan bertanya ke gw: TAS LO SATU LAGI MANA TA’?!!

WHUT???!!!!
HAAAAAAAAAAAA mati gw! tas nya ketinggalan. *PANIK *PANIK *PANIK!!! Oh, siapa tahu Eko masih bisa menyelamatkan tas gw..TELEPON EKO! Bodohnya, pulsa gw dan Irvan lagi gak ada. Argh mati gw….oh ada yang jualan pulsa, tapi si abangnya lelet soalnya ada yg lagi beli pulsa jg, akhirnya gw nekat bilang: mas, boleh pinjem telponya bentar, tas saya ketinggalan di taksi barusan!! saya mau telpon temen saya yang masih di taksi! masnya bilang bentar mbak, gw dengan panik gak tau mau bilang apa, nungguin nih. Selang beberapa detik, masnya ngambil handphone-nya, ngeluarin kartu trus ngasih ke gw???WFT??? Haduh, untung orang yang beli pulsa di sebelah gw ngerti, maksudnya pinjem pulsa mas! hoalah baru lah mas-nya ngerti dan bilang kalo gitu pake hp ini aja mbak, sambil ngambil 1 hape lagi dan ngasih ke gw. Gw dengan panik dial nomernya Eko..

GW: Halo halo!! Ko, lu masih di taksi ga?!!!
Eko: gak ta’, kenapa emangnya?
GW: TAS GW KETINGGALAN DI TAKSI TADI, MANA TAKSINYA MASIH ADA GAK? MASIH KELIATAN GA?PANGIL KO PANGGIL!3$@$%@$%#%$# bla bla bla, sambil lari ke depan es pocong! *Irvan sebelah gw masih bingung..

Gw ngeliatin di pingir jalan, siapa tahu taksinya langsung putar balik..panik abis sumpah..Gw gak inget apa-apa soal nomer pintu taksinya, yang gw inget cuma nama depan bapak itu, Bambang! Gak lama kemudian Irvan dateng trus bilang kalo nomer pintu taksi yang tadi kita tumpangin “1570″. Untung Eko masih nyimpen kertas yang di kasih waktu kita memesan taksi di bandara tadi, di situ ada nomer pintu taksinya. Tapi gak ada nama sopirnya, gak ada nomor telpon sopirnya…

to be continued
*ngantukk^^^ besok yaaaaaaaaaaa

How are you and you life today?
It’s been a long time, this lovely blog has no update post from me . Suddenly while browsing, I stumble to this blog and read my previous post..I realize this is the right time for an update..hehehe. Okay, let’s give it a try..

Yeah, the title of this post is Graduation and After. I, *thank you Allah, have graduated on January 30, 2010. Such a relief after all the struggles, love life, and pain and pain and deadlines and student attendances, and (insert complaint here)! for 3 and a half years. I’m proudly present Genta Moerita, S.Kom ! The graduation ceremony and celebration feel so amazing and officially become one sweet moment of my life. It is the same like your birthday, you are not graduate everyday kekeke. My father, mom, my brother, aunties from my father and mother sides and their children, were there with me, i was given a bunch of flowers and congratulate by everyone ^^. I was really happy at that time. But not included the ‘heavy’ make-up, songket and kebaya! although it makes me different ^^, but I’m tired of it. Soo not me. One of my friend took this photo when we are attending the graduation ceremony in ‘Balairung UI’. Here it is :

and this is my family:

I spent several days with my family, before I sadly walk them to the airport.. My mom didn’t allow me to take a break by going home. She said stay here and find a job.. Yes that’s my mother..So I did, then I get a job as technical writer in Pusilkom UI..

Not much to say about that now..After graduation, I feel that I have more responsibilities instead..okay, I don’t need to go to classes and rushing on those deadlines anymore. But now I have greater responsibility than before..do you know what I mean? Like job relating responsibilities *of course, earning more and more, job suitability from my mom’s point of view, my responsibility to support my brother, marriage?

I guess that’s enough for this post..
I promise I will post later *doing pinky swear

then I changed my mind..
haghag..
At least there are some people who loves me
Last night surprise (*which is not really a surprise for me, because I can hear their whisper outside my room: “it’s genta’s birthday, is she still awake?? hurry hurry, let wake her up!!). Phira, one of my best friend arranged a little surprise for me.. She and Indah, my another friend gave me an exclusive calendar. It’s not a usual calendar, design by her own, full with 2PM photos..hahahah, and Lee Joon (MBLAQ). OMG I like it sooooooooo muah and very thankful for the present …

and…
Since now I’m 22…I’ve done my internship seminar a couple minutes ago. things were running well, but it’s getting worse when I yell at him..I don’t know, sadly it’s my birthday but I can’t controll my emotions ………….*(oh, yes and I’m fasting today). Feel sorry about it…

arrgh, it’s my birthday! come on people!

Next stage of my life, I’ll present my final year project this January 4…Wish me luck everyone……If I can pass this, then I’m going to get my bachelor degree and then… I need to find a boyfriend (doh). That’s mom’s request..

Okay..let see what I can get

for the next stage and new responsibility?

Thank You Allah, I love you……..